On Time Outs

THE PURPOSE OF A TIME OUT IS TO TEACH YOUR CHILDREN SELF CONTROL AND SELF REGULATION. TIME OUTS TEACH CHILDREN THE CAPACITY TO INTEGRATE FAMILY RULES AND EXPECTATIONS. IT IS A PARENT’S TOOL TO DISCIPLINE CHILDREN IN AN EFFECTIVE AND HEALTHY MANNER. parentStrategy tips:

  1. PARAMETERS OF A TIME OUT ARE CLEARLY ESTABLISHED. A GOOD TIME TO DO THIS IS DURING A ROUTINE FAMILY MEETING.
  2. TIME OUTS ARE PREFERABLY SHORT. START WITH A 2-3 MINUTE TIME OUT FOR CHILDREN UNDER FIVE YEARS. A TIMER IS GOOD WAY TO MONITOR THE TIME OUT FOR CHILDREN UNABLE TO TELL TIME. FOR OLDER CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS ESTABLISH A DEFINITE TIME FRAME FOR THE TIME OUT.
  3. SPECIFY LOCATION OF THE TIME OUT (A CHAIR IN THE KITCHEN, SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THE BED, OR SITTING IN THE CORNER OF THE FAMILY ROOM).
  4. TIME OUTS ARE NOT TIMES TO TUNE OUT. REMEMBER…THE GOAL IS TO TEACH. THEREFORE IT IS NOT A TIME TO SLEEP OR PLAY. IT IS A TIME FOR THE CHILD TO THINK ABOUT HIS OR HER MISBEHAVIOR AND HOW HE OR SHE WILL CHANGE IT.
  5. WHEN THE TIME OUT IS OVER (THE TIMER BUZZES), IT IS THE CHILD’S REPONSIBILTY TO SEEK OUT A PARENT AND SHARE TWO THINGS. ONE, WHAT BEHAVIOR CAUSED THE TIME OUT? AND TWO, WHAT CAN HE OR SHE DO TO CHANGE?
  6. THE PARENT DECIDES IF THE CHILD IS GENUINE IN HIS OR HER DESCRIPTION OF THE EVENTS. IF SO, THE CHILD CAN RE-ENTER THE FAMILY SYSTEM. IF THE CHILD IS BLAMING OR NOT SHARING REGRET, REPEAT THE TIME OUT.
  7. OFTEN TIMES PARENTS CAN MODEL A TIME OUT WHEN HE OR SHE IS ANGRY OR IRRITATED. THE MODELING TEACHES CHILDREN TIME OUTS ARE AN EFFECTIVE WAY TO SELF REGULATE.